How to Write a Formal RSVP to an Invitation

Writing a formal RSVP to an invitation is not that difficult. Many times a response card is included in the invitation.  If you're sent an invitation over email, your RSVP is as easy as clicking the reply button. A few tips, though: respect the deadline the hostess has set, especially if it is a catered event; if “Regrets Only” is printed on the invitation, respond only if you will not attend; and last but not least, do not say you will be there and then not go. Only serious illness should keep you from attending.  

The invitation will ask for your reply through email, phone, or mail. It shows courtesy to respond in the way that you were asked.

If the invitation does not mention how you should respond, then write a note and mail it. Handwriting the note is a nice touch, but a printed note will suffice. When you write your response, follow the style of wording that was used in the invitation.

Always start out with your name and the name of any others that were on the invitation and whether or not you will attend. A formal example would be, “Mr. and Mrs. Adam Smith gratefully accept ...” Always include a word or words, like “joyfully”,  “am pleased to”, or “sadly”. Complete the note with the name and date of the event. Then close with something nice, like “All the best” or “With love”.

An example would be: Mr. and Mrs. Adam Smith regret that they are unable to attend the wedding of Mary and George on June 6, 2010, at Cherry Creek Country Club. Truly Yours, Stacy and William.  

History of Formal Invitations

RSVP simply means “respond, if you please” or “please respond”. It is from the French phrase, “répondez s'il vous plaît”. It is a reminder to let the host or hostess know whether or not you will be attending.

You may wonder why the initials of a French phrase is used in invitations today.   The French practically invented etiquette. King Louis XIV had the rules of proper behavior written on “tickets” or “etiquette”. Sometimes these were posted at his palace in Versailles, or they were the actual invitations to an event with the rules written on the back. During the 19th century in the United States, the use of the French language was considered refined and a sign of high society.

When the aristocracy wanted to invite people to a party, invitations had to be hand-written. It evolved into an art form, with fancy lettering (calligraphy) and decorated parchment. The paper was folded to keep it from getting dirty and placed inside an envelope with the invited guest’s name and address on it. It was sealed with wax and the family crest was stamped on it. Since the person delivering the invitation would be on horseback, the envelope was necessary to protect the invitation.

The custom of having two envelopes came from necessity, as many homes did not have addresses. The directions to a house could be quite lengthy, so another envelope was used to seal the actual invitation. After the printing press was invented, a piece of tissue paper was used inside the invitation to keep the ink from smudging. These customs are still followed today, even though there really is no need for two envelopes or a piece of tissue paper.