What To Say When Someone Dies

It is difficult to find the right words to express yourself when someone dies, yet you know that you could add to the grief and heartache of the death by not saying anything at all. A few well-chosen words will do wonders, and will comfort far beyond a long string of condolences. Here are a few tips for you to consider if you’re wondering what to say when someone dies.

Tell the grieving person that you’re sorry for their loss and that the loved one will be sorely missed.

Explain to them that you’re not sure what words to say, but you want to let them know that you’re sorry. Stay away from platitudes like “at least he is in Heaven” unless you’re certain that it would be of comfort to the individual with whom you are speaking, and never tell them that you know exactly what they’re going through. “I’m so sorry” is always a welcome phrase to an individual who has lost a loved one. Talking about the deceased can sometimes be a blessing to them as long as you keep it short and simple. Whatever you do, choose your words with care.

Your good intentions will be realized by the individual with whom you speak—but you need to take courage to step up to them and talk. A few words of love and support or a little note will go a long way in establishing your sympathies, and will let your friend or loved one know that you love them and you’re thinking of them.

Ask Questions

Among the most comforting things that you can do for someone who has lost a loved one is to ask them questions. Of course you shouldn’t go crazy talking about trivial matters to get their mind off of the loss, but a couple of appropriate questions will demonstrate to them that you’re interested in how they feel instead of merely deflecting. Thinking of what to say when someone dies is easier when they’re guiding the discussion. Ask if there’s anything that you can do for them, and offer your assistance. Ask them if they’d ever like to talk about it. When you offer your assistance, let them know that you’ll be there for them if they think of something in the future. Don’t let your words be empty—if they call you, make sure that you’re exactly where they need you when they need you. There’s absolutely no sense in asking if there’s anything they need, or anything you can do for them in the meantime, if you’re not fully planning on following through and being there.